Life with Baby

I think my little baby has a cold, and it breaks my heart. I just want to be able to fix it and make him all better, but there doesn’t seem to be too much of a solution beyond waiting it out.

He woke up yesterday wheezing, and had a lot of extra mucous. He’s been cranky for the past couple of days, can hardly breathe, and I have to use that snot sucker thing (what’s the official term for that?!) several times a day. And he cries every single time.

His doctor suggested saline nasal spray and a humidifier, which we plan to do. But that doesn’t really stop him from feeling rather miserable. I don’t know where he caught this cold from, but it makes me want to not take him out any more. I want my boy to be healthy!

Breastfeeding did not start out well for me and my boy. From the first minute I held him in my arms, he was not interested in breastfeeding. It was discouraging. By the time I left the hospital, my baby still hadn’t done more than suck a few times. I don’t even know if he got anything out.

I wish there had been better lactation support for me, because if there had, I may not be in the situation I am today. I struggled for weeks and weeks to get my milk supply established. I went to lactation consultants, used breast pumps, used herbs such as fenugreek and blessed thistle, and cried and prayed about it. But nothing seemed to help the fact that my boy had a bad latch, and I wasn’t producing nearly enough milk for him.

If I had had better support from the outset, this might not have been the case. But here I am. My boy finally has a good latch, and will breastfeed on each side for several minutes. Sadly, he is probably getting less than 1/3 of an ounce for his efforts. We supplement with formula.

However, I’m thankful that we breastfeed at all. It comforts him and calms him down. It is an enjoyable relationship and I’m so thankful to at least have that. I’m heartbroken that it didn’t work out the way I envisioned, but am really glad to at least be able to supply him with some antibodies and nutrients. I plan to keep breastfeeding him as long as possible, and will definitely share my progress and struggles on this blog.

Just about every mom has a breastfeeding story of some kind, whether it has a happy ending or not. Do you care to share yours? I’d love to hear it.

I have a confession to make. I haven’t started back up with an exercise program yet, and it’s been over three months since I had the baby. I feel a little guilty, but only a little. I’ve been exhausted and pretty busy with everything else.

But I think the time is coming when exercise needs to become a priority again. I feel like a slug. My stomach isn’t shrinking any more. And the postpartum depression would probably get a little better with some regular exercise.

I want to do it, but I find excuses every time. I’m thinking I’ll start with something easy, like a few minutes of yoga or a walk with a friend. It’s time to get moving and take care of my health.

Who’s with me?!

Many people don’t understand my parenting style. Well, mostly my mom doesn’t understand. I have been trying to follow the principles of attachment parenting. If you aren’t sure what that is, Dr. Sears has a great list of what attachment parenting consists of .

To me, attachment parenting means responding to my child’s needs and doing what feels right to me as the parent. I take other people’s advice with a grain of salt and just continue to do what works best for us as a family. I have had much success so far with babywearing - my baby loves being close to me. And I don’t see the virtue of letting my baby cry and not be consoled. If he cries, he gets his needs met (insofar as I can discern what those needs are!). If I can’t tell what he needs, at least he knows that I’m there and that I care.

Most of the time, I’ve found that what he needs is to go to sleep. He is always tired! And letting him sleep more has been helpful for me as well.

Anyway, my baby is only a baby one time. I try to remember that when I feel smothered, or tired, or ready to pack my bags and go on vacation by myself. I have just this once to enjoy all his little smiles, his cuddles, and the silly coos and faces he makes.  I want to spend as much time as I can loving him and being with him. The time will come very quickly when he won’t even want me around anymore.

Until I became a parent, I had no idea what it would be like, and yet I distinctly remember giving my sister advice. Some of it wasn’t that great, either. I really hope she didn’t listen to me and did her own thing instead!

I guess what I’m saying is that if you are a parent, listen to your heart, not to the books on parenting. Nobody can know and love your baby like you can. So while there is some good advice to be gleaned from many sources, it’s ultimately up to us as parents to make our parenting decisions.

Ok, I am finally going to get organized. I am tired of a messy house with nothing getting done. I’m tired of eating out, and our budget can’t take any more of that, either. I’m compiling a list of ‘daily’ to-do’s, in the hope that seeing it written out will help me get it done. Here’s a sample from my list:

Make bed

Read Scriptures

15 Minute declutter

Load/Empty/Run Dishwasher

Wipe Kitchen counters

Plan/Make dinner

Exercise

Writing

Blogging

Crafting

Tidy bedroom

Some of the items on the list are personal, such as reading scriptures. Some of the items will keep us fed and clean, and some of them are for my own personal improvement (like crafting). Then again, some of it, like blogging and writing, are for my job. I am a freelance writer, and I have to do a certain amount of writing each day.

Sometimes I think I overshoot and put too many things on my list, which overwhelms me and prevents me from accomplishing everything I need to. I don’t know. Quite a bit of it needs to get done. Any thoughts on how you manage to get everything done you need to in order to organize your life?

I’ve had a rough week because I’ve been home all week caring for my baby boy but my husband has been out of town all week. Caring for a baby alone is hard work. I really have to hand it to single parents - they are amazing!

Anyway, to help me feel better, I’d like to make a list of things that having a baby has done or taught me.

• I learned how to sew because of him - I made cloth diapers for my boy.
• I learned how wonderful it is to love someone unconditionally.
• I’m learning to be much less selfish.
• This is teaching my husband and I a whole new level of communication and support for each other.
• I’m able to get by on a lot less sleep. (I formerly required a minimum of 8 hours!)
• I’m making ‘mom’ friends.
• I found mothering.com, an amazing forum of women.
• I get a LOT more done in a lot less time. If only I employed that technique back when I had plenty of time. I would have gotten so many things done. *sigh*
• I get to see my baby smile at me every morning.
• I learned more than I ever thought I would need to know about breastfeeding.
•  I am participating in a special boy’s life.
• I get to watch my boy go through all the cool stages of life. It’s awesome how fast babies learn!
• I get to be a mom.

As you can see, being a mother has changed me in many good ways. I’m so thankful we had this little boy. He is such a blessing.

I found a natural cure for cradle cap (or baby dandruff, as I call it). Yes, my boy has cradle cap on his beautiful head. But I searched online and found a cure that seems to work. I don’t have the url, otherwise I’d link to it. But here it is in a nutshell:

Rub a bit of olive oil on your baby’s head. Let it sit for a few minutes (maybe 10). Then wash it off, rubbing your babie’s head with a washcloth. Make sure to get all the oil off, otherwise it could clog your baby’s pores. Then, use a baby brush to brush the flakes away.

The olive oil helps loosen the dry skin off your baby’s head, and boy did it ever on my baby! He looked like a snow storm erupted on his head. Unfortunately, he still has a bunch of cradle cap left, so I’m going to try again tomorrow. I only let the oil sit for a couple of minutes, so next time I’ll wait longer.

I just can’t believe how much dandruff came off his head! You really wouldn’t believe it. I’m not sure how there’s still more left to remove, but there is. I wonder if this technique works for adult dandruff…

I’ve noticed since the baby was born that all sense of organization has gone out the window. I used to *try* to make a menu plan a couple of weeks in advance, and I even had an elaborate task list that told me which days to do laundry and which day to mop the floor. I laugh at that list now. And we’re lucky to even get dinner; it’s often takeout.

I felt very guilty about this. I wanted my home to be organized and nice. I wanted to eat healthy, nourishing meals. But I realized that I can only do so much, so I’m not going to feel bad about what doesn’t get done. I do try to improve, though. And eventually I’m hoping to have a system in place to make everything go much more smoothly.

Anyone else have any good ideas for making home organization go well when you have a new baby? I’d love to hear any thoughts.

I read some sleeping advice that has changed my son’s sleeping pattern for the better. The advice was this: “2, 3, 4.”

Basically, when your baby wakes up in the morning, he or she will be tired after two hours and ready for a nap. After the nap, they’ll be ready for a nap three hours after that. And four hours after waking from that nap, it’s bed time.

Now, I don’t know that my son follows that pattern exactly. Actually, probably not at all. But it opened my eyes to the fact that he would be tired soon after waking up in the morning. I just didn’t realize it, and I think it was throwing off his whole day and making him cranky.

This morning, about 1 and 1/2 hour after waking up for the morning, he started acting fussy. I took that as my cue and rocked him to sleep. This happens every morning. It’s amazing because he naps better, and he goes to sleep earlier. All because I got the advice of ‘2,3,4.’

If you have a cranky baby, you may want to try this technique out. Of course, during his naps my son will only sleep on my chest. But at least I get some rest during the day, too.

My son is a cat napper. He’ll close his eyes for five minutes, and just when I think I’m good to go get some things done while he sleeps, his eyes pop open and he’s wide awake. But he’s still tired, of course, so he will cry and cry as I bounce him endlessly on the exercise ball. Until he closes his eyes again…lather, rinse, repeat.

It can be quite stressful, especially since it would be nice to occasionally get some time to myself. I’ve come up with a couple of solutions to the sleep problem, though none of them solve the problem completely. Sometimes I’ll put my boy in my homemade Moby wrap and get stuff done while he sleeps in there (he’ll sleep in the wrap). Other times I’ll get in bed and hold him on my chest while he sleeps, which works for a few minutes. That allows me to sleep, too.

I have friends whose babies will sit in a swing or carseat and be perfectly content, but that is not my boy. Which is good and bad, too. The bad is that I get frustrated when I get nothing done in a day because I’ve been holding a screaming boy. The good is that my boy is awfully cuddly and loves to be in my or my husband’s arms. It’s his favorite. And that makes us feel pretty good.